Tears you needed to shed
by EmmaGreyjoy
Summary: Dudley couldn't take it anymore. He didn't want to go home and see his mother destroying herself.


Tears you needed to shed

Dudley looked at his mother. She had sat in the same place for two hours, the bottle of liquor empty already. He just turned around and went back to his room. He couldn't see her like this anymore.

Opening the closet, he looked for a suitcase and filled it with some clothes. In his schoolbag he put his laptop and the few personal things he kept: an album with them as a family, when his father was still alive; the box with the letters he wrote to his cousin, but never sent; the foreign coin his ex-girlfriend had given him, along with his small collection of coins.

He climbed the stairs and found his father's little office. Dudley grabbed some money from the drawer. His mother wouldn't notice: she hadn't known of the small fortune Vernon kept there.

"For emergencies, Dudley" he had told him once. "A man must be ready for everything and I won't trust my hard-earned money to corrupt bankers"

Dudley got out of there, tears in his eyes, and went to the attic. He knew he would find a trunk with letters and journals there. He discovered it when they moved to that house, only three years ago. It had letters from her mother to his Aunt Lily and vice versa. He had read them once, twice... He didn't remember how many times. He never told his mother, but this time would have to be different.

He took just three of them: the first in a muggle envelope, the second was parchment. The third one, a dark red parchment, but with silver ink instead of black. This one had a coat of arms with a deer on it.

Dudley grabbed the suitcase and his schoolbag and looked around the room. This was the last time he would call the room his.

Going down the stairs, he shed some tears in the hall before stepping into the living room. His mother hadn't moved.

"Mom" he said, his voice breaking. "I'm leaving"

Petunia Dursley looked up. Dudley got closer to her. "Mom you're hurting yourself. You need to stop this. I..." he stopped, suddenly not knowing what he should do. "I will hire a nurse to take care of you, mom. I can't do it anymore. I just can't"

Dudley started to cry openly. How could he leave his mother like this? But he had no choice, right? He needed to get out before he got as bitter as she was.

He handed her the letters with care, surprised when she reached up to get them, unsurprised when her face contorted in anger.

"She took everything from me, Duddykins" she said with jealousy dripping of her voice. "My parents loved her more than they loved me, our neighbors always said how good girl she was. How pretty"

"She's dead, mom" said Dudley. "She died twenty years ago. You need to let go of everything. You're beautiful, mom, I love you. Dad loved you" Dudley had kneeled in front of her, holding her hands.

"She was perfect and I'm not. It was me who deserved to die. Not her, Dudley"

He had never heard his mother talk like that and it hurt even more. He needed to get out. He didn't want to abandon her like this, she didn't deserve it, but he couldn't go on.

"Your crib was a gift from her, my pumpkin" said Petunia. "She said it was charmed to never let something happen to you. You wouldn't fall, you wouldn't be bitten by any bug, you would even get sick less than without it. She never met you and still loved you because you were my son. And I couldn't love hers"

Petunia's tears were cascading down her face and Dudley did nothing to wipe them. Her mother needed this. She needed to mourn her sister, to repent for how she treated Harry, to let go of the demons of the past. He knew it. She needed it and everything would be better.

"I'm leaving mom" he said again. Petunia looked at him and he saw the pain in her eyes, understanding what she felt. "I'll visit you three days a week mom, but you have to promise you will get better. You won't drink, mom. You need to stop this"

Her eyes sought his. "I won't, Duddykins. This is the only thing I have left"

* * *

It was hard to write this. I couldn't quite get Dudley's desperation or Petunia's grief, but I like the outcome.

I wrote this for:

- The 'Flower Language' Challenge. Flower: Marigold  
- The 'If you Dare' Challenge. Prompt 897, Demons of the past.  
- The 'Connect the Character' Challenge. Character: Dudley Dursley


End file.
